So that blogging thing I was going to start doing again...

Well....I had grand intentions to start blogging again.  I really envisioned it being a space where I could sort of expel these words that seem to always be floating around in my head.  I have thoughts, y'all...lots of thoughts.  But the thing is, when I tried to sit down and compile the tornado of words and phrases in my mind into some kind of cohesive post about something that would be anywhere near something someone else would want to read, I would freeze.  I have had people tell me I needed to write a book about the adventures of this crazy family I have.  I laugh because while my children are definitely hysterical and for sure say "the darndest things", I am the opposite of funny.  I'm also pretty sure that what I have to offer the world is nothing anyone else hasn't already offered.  I don't have a lot of original thoughts or a "blogging niche" to fill.  A blog - or a book even - about our every day crazy adventures seems silly.  But, then again, how nice it has been to float back through the posts on this blog from a million years ago and remember things I had forgotten (because I am trying to squish far too many other things in my brain these days).  So, I am going to really make a real effort to do this thing.  Even if it never does anything other than chronicle the craziness and  help to clear the clutter from my skull, it will be worth it for me and that's good enough!

So if there is some lost set of eyes that just happens to be reading these posts because you wondered off the beaten path and got completely turned around and somehow landed on this page of awesomeness, let it be known that I hope that something about my ramblings will bless you in some way or another.  I will try to limit the run on sentences and grammatical errors (remember, my brain can only hold so much information and right now it is between my kids' birthdays and where to properly put a comma...I'll just comma everything for good measure!).

Dr. Jim Bob Haggerton said recently at a conference I attended, "In order for it to be a valley, there has to be two mountains on either side.  The ONLY way you don't get through to the next blessing is to sit in that valley.  Just put one foot in front of the other and keep walking."  Ya'll...I've been sitting in that valley.  I didn't know I was sitting in a valley.  I sort of just looked up one day and realized there was a river and trees all around me and these high walls on all sides.  Suddenly it donned on me that I am IN the valley.  And this isn't one of those things where I just fell down the side of the mountain I was on and gracefully landed in the valley.  I had slowly trekked down that mountain and I have been blindly walking around this valley for a while now.  I am not sure where along the way my path diverted.  I must have been doing my thing...blinders on, plowing forward towards the goal I was sure God had laid before me and knocking all those silly obstacles out of my way.  Thing is, I wasn't making much headway.  So I must have diverted to try another path so I could demo my way through like a juggernaut on a mission.  You see, when I get on a mission, neither hell or high water is going to knock me from it.  God Himself has to use a "John Henry" sledgehammer to knock me down a few pegs so I will pay attention.  I think, maybe, that's how I "woke up" enough to notice I was in the valley to begin with.  

I want to pause right here and be clear.  I know I am being a bit of a brat.  When I call it a "valley" in my life I know I don't really have much to complain about.  I mean, we have a house, two cars, my husband has a job and I get to stay home with our kids.  There are about 541 million other things about my life that are not really "living in a valley".  But that's the thing.  Every person's valley is different and frankly, it's not about the physical things anyways.  I would have been in a valley in my life even if I had all the money in the world.  My valley is emotional, spiritual, not physical.  Even as I write this I think it sounds silly.  Am I just being over-dramatic?  It happens to me (a lot) so I have to check myself like that on a regular basis!  Whether it is legitimate or not, it still feels like a valley to me.  

I kinda looked around and panicked.  The thing is, my valley was self-delivered.  I put myself here and yet I looked to everyone and their brother to blame for me being there.  I blamed my health. I blamed my kids. I blamed my husband. I blamed my co-workers/team.  I even blamed God.  I could not be responsible for this valley....I am a good person and I do the best things I can with what I have been given.  But, I looked around and didn't see what I liked very much and the thing is...it all pointed back to me.  This discovery of being in the valley was rough.  I tailspinned a bit.  And to be honest, I might just now be coming out of that tailspin.

I have been spending the last couple of weeks trying to figure out where I am supposed to be.  I am trying to spend as much time as I can trying to decipher God's will for my life and I keep coming up empty.  My husband starts student teaching in January and I don't have a clue how we are going to pay for things when he does that.  This terrifies me.  My kids are about to be home for the summer and I am still not 100% healed from my pituitary tumor.  I can't physically keep up with them like I want and that terrifies me.  We have had some behavior and development challenges with some of our kiddos this year.  That terrifies me.  My business is not where I wanted it to be at this point.  That breaks my heart.  So I keep looking to the future to see what path I am supposed to be following today to ensure these things are taken care of.  I believe in God's will and His provision for us and His protection over us and His strength filling me up.  But I haven't been accepting it with all the faith of a person who has truly let go of the control.  

You know what all this worrying and fear of the future and heartbreak has gotten me?  A big fat NOTHING.  God tells us to be still and rest in his presence.  You know, I thought that meant that when you get stressed out or just get crazy and can't handle the world that was what that meant?  Go to God and rest in his presence so He can give you peace and calm and then go slay that dragon when you are ready.  And while I do believe on some level that's what that means, I have grown to learn it means something completely different.  God wants us to live our lives in the present.  He wants us to focus our every moment on glorifying him and to be so consumed with His love that we can't even think about what the craziness of the future holds.  Do you understand how empowering that is?  DO you get the idea of the weight that has been lifted off of my shoulders?  Do you know that God has already planned your steps and is leading you to the greatest victory you can ever imagine?  So why do I need to keep tugging on that rope to get control back?  I don't.  I just need to live in the present and relish in knowing that God is in control and He can't deal with the mess that is planning my future.  I get to give this all to God and I get to simply live day to day doing His work and praising Him!  I am understanding now what a GIFT this really is! 

Of course, that doesn't mean that I sit around singing "kumbaya" all day long and ignoring the needs of my family or those around me.  It means that instead of having to plan and fret and scheme and prepare and anything else for what is going to happen tomorrow, I get to be present for my kids.  I get to be present for my husband.  I get to be present for my family and friends and I get to be present for myself.  I get to be in this crazy valley for a while and enjoy the place where God has me right now.  I get to experience the beautiful river and the abundance it offers.  I get to enjoy the shade of the trees and the wonder of the plants and animals that within and under them.  I get to take a break from the high soaring mountain peaks and wind and snow and just be right where I am.  I won't stay stagnant.  I won't just sit.  I will keep moving as I pay attention to all the details the valley has to offer and then, one day, the Lord will start me on the ascent to the top of the mountain again, just about the time I am ready to see some snow and feel some wind and soar.

Much love and many blessings,
Kellie    

Back in the saddle again...sort of...

I've decided that I am going to start "blogging" again.  I say that with the "" because I think it's funny to say I am a blogger.  I don't have a particular genre to fall in and I don't have any incredible talents to share with others or skills that I would say are worthy of showing others what to do.  I am not what one would call the typical blogger.  But....I have things in my head that sort of pop up and float around and get all mish-mashed together with no place to go.  I usually bounce over to my trusty Facebook account to share these random nuggets with no home, but frankly...that platform is simply not big enough for all the craziness in my head.  So, I said "Self, you have this blog from a million years ago already set up, why not use it!?!" And I said back, "Self, you are right!  Even if no one looks at it ever, it will be a great outlet and maybe my life will be a little less nuts and a little more smooth sailing if I can get some of this out there!"  You see...I talk to myself quite a bit and I feel as though this would really not be a lot different...especially if no one out there was actually reading what I post anyways!  

So, there's that.....

I'm not incredibly witty, nor am I laugh out loud funny.  I am not extremely smart, nor do I follow politics or fashion or even a lot of celebrity gossip or pop culture.  I am the absolute worst at quoting movies or songs and I can tell you right now, I am for certain the last person you want to have on your team for Trivial Pursuit!  But, my kids say and do the craziest things, my life is like an actual circus that never seems to end; there is never a dull moment around these parts!  But on occasion, the stars and moon and sun align and something incredibly hysterical or insightful comes flying out of my mouth in exactly the amazing way I pictured in my head and it needs a place to land.

So now that I have managed to paint such a lovely picture of why you should consider following along with me in this hot mess of a thing I call life with a husband, 5 kids and a dog, I encourage you to never.miss.a.single.post....you just never know when I might surprise you with pure blogging gold!

Much Love, 
The Princess and Her P!

Be Careful What You Pray For...

It's funny the lessons God teaches you.  The way He works is often considered "mysterious" as we are going through the muck and mire, but in the end, when you can see how everything expertly fit together with not so much as a single seam, you realize that His ways are not so much "mysterious" as they are an intricately woven tapestry that is our lives.  So many times, when the storm is raging, it is easy to look up to the sky, shake your fists and ask "why God? why would you let this happen to me?"  But the truth is that we are children of free will. We make our own choices.  It is a matter of listening and paying attention to the road signs God has placed in our path that determines if we will follow that beautiful pattern He laid out for us from the moment we were conceived, or if we will make our own pattern.  Either way, I believe we end up where we are supposed to go.  I just believe that the way God has planned for us has proven to be so much easier in the long run.

At 32, I know that I have not learned all of the lessons that I need to in order to function the way God would have me.  But I would think I at least had a good start!  These last several months have proven that I am still so young in so many ways.  I look back on the last 10 years - that is how long Patrick and I have been married - and I see how I thought I knew just what I wanted and just how it should be.  But moving forward and watching the twists and turns in our lives I see where we tried so hard to do things our way and failed and where we left things to God and got right where we needed to be.

We have cause to celebrate these days.  Not that there has been any finality recently, but things appear - at least for now - to be on the upward swing.  But in seeing the many things we have to be thankful for, I am also seeing the reason we are here.  My blessings are at the result of someone else's suffering.  Did I cause that suffering?  No!  Did I make people make the choices they did?  No, of course not!  But is the result of those choices bringing me joy and them pain?  Yes.  A lot of pain.  And I am in the position this time around to actually see that unfolding as it is happening.  I am not blissfully living in the bubble of my own world with no idea how the things that are unfolding are affecting everyone involved.  I am not completely ignorant.  The world of a foster parent includes exposure to some tough things.  It is no "creme puff" life when you are dealing with children who have been abused and neglected.  I have always been realistic in my acceptance and understanding of how things work.  I have lived my own experiences enough to know that while I may not be all that "street savvy" I have a general idea of how things work.  But that does nothing to prepare you for watching the daily struggle of someone who is suffering while you are rejoicing.

I titled this post "Be Careful What You Pray For" as a reminder to myself.  Throughout the last year I have made it a point to not pray for a specific outcome with this placement.  I have made it a point to pray for God's will in this situation.  I have prayed that God's will be done and that He give me the peace and openness to accept His will no matter what that may turn out to be.  I have focused on my faith and trust in His path and while it has been easy to falter in the last several months - as the peacefulness and ease of the first 6 months wore off and we started to get down to the nitty gritty drama - I have made it a point to continue to pray not that things will work in our favor, but that I will continue to have faith and trust that He will take care of ALL of us, no matter how grim it may seem.  And seeing what I have seen the last several weeks, I am glad I did.  Because being careful what you pray for is not always just for the funny, ironic things or the things that turn out to not be what you wanted after all.  Sometimes it is the only way you can live with yourself after the "fat lady sings" and you know that your celebration is at the cost of someone else's loss.

This is most definitely one of the harder lessons I have had to learn.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  I struggle with reconciling my joy over what someone else's bad choices are bringing us and seeing the effect those choices have on everyone involved.  I understand that I am not responsible for anyone's suffering.  But the knowledge that my joy is someone else's pain still stings.  I remind myself to at least keep in mind that some things come at a price and to continue to pray as a servant of God's will and not my own.  As I have learned in other life lessons, His plans always work out to be just what we need and in better harmony than anything I could every put together on my own!

Till next time...

Cutie Patootie Boots

I have the girls' outfits for Christmas all picked out, but I really didn't have any fun shoes or slippers or anything that really went with the rest of the outfits.  Since they are baby feet, I didn't want to spend a lot of money on something they may only be able to wear for a few months at the most.

I have seen several tutorials out there recently for making your own baby boots. There are some really cute ones on one of my favorite blogs Kojo Designs.  These ladies are amazing!!  If I can one day aspire to have half their talent, it would make me a happy girl for a long time!  :)

I was going to try out their tutorial, but I don't really have any shoes to sacrifice - much less TWO pairs of shoes to sacrifice - that really fit the girls and would work for that application.  But they did inspire me to find some other options.  That's when I stumbled across this pattern from ithinksew.com.  I love it!  Just what I was looking for with things I already had on hand!

So of course I had to make a pair for both of the girls.  I think they turned out alright!

The pattern is not only a really decent price, but it was easy to follow and comes with several different sizes. I also like that they offer adult size shoe patterns.  There are so many to choose from that I am sure I will be busting out some more shoes for the girls.

I did make a couple of adjustments to the pattern for these. They are really pretty nifty in that they just velcro close along the side.  The buttons are just for decoration.  But I found that while the flap closed just fine along the side with the velcro, it left an opening at the top of the foot.  It is probably just how I sewed them.  So I just tacked the flap to the top of the foot right in the middle.  That way the flap will stay where it should over the foot when it is closed, but I can still open them enough to get the girls' feet in there.

The other thing I did was used the smallest size - 0-3 months - for both girls.  Maddie's feet are the same size as our other little angel's feet even though they are 4 1/2 months apart.  I have found it rather frustrating in shopping for baby shoes of any kind that they tend to run very big if you go off of their age to size.  The 0-3 month size fits both girls just fine.  They may not have much room to grow, but in all honesty, these probably won't be worn after this winter anyways.

I also just used an old sweater turtleneck I had that was in the donation pile to make the outside of the boots. I used some fleece I had on hand to make the inside lining.  I didn't use any interfacing as it suggested as they hold up pretty well on their own.

So we shall test these bad boys out soon enough.  If nothing else, they will certainly keep those tootsies warm!

More Recent Projects

I think it is safe to say that I have rediscovered my love for crafting. It has been hard to find time to do anything worth posting about for a while now. And though if you are paying attention, you will see that I am writing this post at about 10:30 pm on a Wednesday, I am still getting to bed at a relatively decent hour....I mean, I can sleep when I'm dead right? :)

Honestly, most of my recent crafts and projects have been so easy that I can get them done in the hour or so after all the kiddos get to bed (and Maddie is of course generally the last one down!).

I have been finishing up a few Christmas projects I wanted to get done. I still have a handful that need my attention, but I wanted to play a bit first. So this last project was for me! I totally stole the idea from my Boss's Boss who wore the most adorable jingle bell necklace and bracelet to the Children's Holiday Party at work recently. I was in love! She told me where she got it and I am sure I could have bought it for what I paid to make it, but I like the colors in mine a little more. Sometimes crafting is not necessarily cheaper - but it does let you customize!

So without further ado...my festive Jingle Bells!

Of course they couldn't have been easier to make. You will need:

• A handful of jingle bells in the sizes and colors you prefer (I got mine at Hobby Lobby and used the bigger ones for the necklace and the smaller ones for the bracelet. The earrings are a combo of both sizes).
• Chain - I used chain I had on hand and just cut the lengths to the size I wanted for the necklace and for the bracelet. You could also make it that much easier and use an already assembled chain necklace and bracelet.
• Split rings or jump rings (I had split rings on hand)
• For the earrings you will need an pair of ear wires or your preferred earring and smaller chain to make the layers.

Assembly is simply putting the bells on the chain using the split ring or jump ring.  I spaced them out on the bracelet evenly, but I used different spaces in between on the necklace.  I wanted something that was a bit more "whimsical".  The earrings are just assembled with different lengths of smaller chain to keep the bells staggered.

I know that is not much of a tutorial, but I didn't take pictures as I was going along.  It really was a pretty fast and easy assembly (if you use jump rings it would probably go even faster.).

I am going to bust these babies out tomorrow at work.  I hope they keep me in the Christmas Spirit.  :)

Christmas Everywhere!

You know how you tell yourself every year that you are going to keep it simple and take your time and not stress when the holidays come?!? You know how you never listen to your sage advice at 10:30 pm the day before your kids Holiday parties at school or parties at work?!? Is that just me??? :)

Well, we have been busy the past couple of nights trying to cram in our last minutes crafts and baking and prepping and wrapping and taking care of babies and everything else in the mix. I was still trying to throw projects in to the mix last night on the way home. Patrick looked at me and said "enough!". So I had to cut a few things I really wanted to do, but since I was up until midnight last night anyways, I guess that was ok. :)

So we made ornaments, cookies, garbage candy, fudge, pumpkin bread and these adorable (or at least the idea was adorable!) Rudolph Sausage Balls.

(if you look closely in the background, you can see some of Alex's sugar cookies!)

I think they turned out ok. I would have preferred those Christmas Tree shaped pretzles because I think they would have looked more like antlers. I couldn't find them anywhere in my sprint through the Walmart. These pretzles kind of make them look like mice, but I guess they could also be Christmas Mice! :) Anyways, they were super easy to make:

Make your sausage balls (I made a double batch as Gabe and Alex were both taking these to their parties today). You can find a recipe online just about anywhere, but I use the following for a double batch:
4 cups of bisquick (I have also used pancake mix in a pinch!)
2 lbs of sausage (two small "rolls")
2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese (I actually just throw in a few handfuls until it looks right.)
mix, roll in to balls, bake at 350 degrees for about 15 - 20 minutes

Once your sausage balls are cooked, and while they are still warm, take a knife and cut a small slit in the top. Stick your pretzles in the slit so they stick up like antlers. If you do it while they are still warm, they "stick" to the pretzles a little better to keep them in longer.

Once your "reindeer" have cooled completely, you can put on a nose with one of those gel icing tubes or get creative and use just about anything (mini m&m's or red hots or anything red!). I used a glitter gel icing tube I found at Walmart and just put a smidge on the sausage balls where a nose would be.

Done!

You could also go a bit further and put eyes on with a black gel tube or mini m&m or something like that. I was already "in trouble" for not keeping it simple last night so I didn't go that far.

I think this wasn't a bad trial run. I may have to experiment some more to come up with some better ideas - you know maybe when I don't have so many irons in the fire!

I still have a few more things to get done for Christmas this year, but we are on the downhill slope for now - unless I see some more cute ideas I just HAVE to try out!

Merry Christmas!

Linking up to the following:

Projects I have been working on

I know it has been a while - a long while - since I have posted. But with four kids at home (two babies!!) it is the rare occasion that I can get online for even a few minutes, much less in enough time to make a blog post. But with Christmas coming up, I have been working on a few projects to keep my sanity - a little anyways. Here are a few things I have been working on...and a few things I will have up in my Etsy store once my "good" camera is charged. For now, you must deal with the not so great photos from my phone. :)

Leg Warmers/Leggings
RUFFLES AND BOWS!!

RUFFLES AND FLOWERS!!

Christmas Themed Clippies
Snowmen (one for each girl of course!)

Christmas Trees

I am putting the leg warmers up in my Etsy shop soon. I have a few other projects in the works that I will try to post about soon as well. I am linking up this post to the Ribbon Retreat Blog December Linky Party.
and

Madelyn Paige Pringle is Here!

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