I am only about 7 weeks along (the baby is measuring at 7 weeks, but the magic formula they use to determine due dates says I am about 8 weeks. But you never know with the way my system is anyways). My tentative due date is September 5th. We had our first sonogram last Monday and everything looks good. There is definitely a baby in there with a heart beat and everyting! I was convinced that the seven (yes, I said SEVEN) pregnancy tests I had taken at home were a false positive meaning that I had some kind of cancer or a tumor, but that sonogram says otherwise. I even asked the doctor before the sono if he was sure I didn't have a tumor....his response...."well, its kind of like a tumor, but its a BABY Kellie!". Ok, ok, I believe!
 |
| Our little Peanut - or as I like to affectionately refer to as our "smudge". If you click on the photo, you should be able to enlarge it enough to at least see the arrow so you know where exactly our baby smudgy is in this picture! :) |
Of course with my history of infertility and PCOS, this is going to be a bumpy ride. I know you are supposed to wait to tell people until you have hit the second trimester just to be sure the risk of miscarriage has gone down. But there are two reasons we decided to spill the beans now....the first and foremost is this is an honest to goodness, totally true and completely amazing miracle. I am not just saying that to use dramatic words or paint a picture because it really is a miracle. A blessing that should be celebrated and enjoyed for however long it lasts. An announcement should be made over every loudspeaker, off every building on every street corner - at least I think so anyways. God is AMAZING! To give us this gift is more than we could even ask for. And far more than we deserve I think, but then again, I am not about to go second guessing God and His plans! So we shout it out for His glory so others can see what He has done for us. No matter our sin - our doubts, our fears, our lack of faith, our mistakes. He still loves us and continues to bless us. Absolutely Amazing! Sure, I lost a bit of weight (so excited about THAT coming back on! :( ) but I don't think that was what did it. I think God did it. Bottom line. It may be that I had to go through the weight loss or other trials to get me ready to be here, but God did this....not me.
The second reason is simple - what happens will happen and me telling people or not won't change that. And since I am a big fat open book anyways, it won't really matter if we have to tell 1 person or 100 if something bad goes down (I know I am sounding morbid by all this talk, but I am also realistic). So in the mean time, we will trust in God to do His will in our lives and enjoy every second along the way.
And since we are being honest now, I am trully terrified. I am happy and excited and even a little giddy - I had given up on the idea that I would even get to say that I was ever pregnant - but I am also terrified. So don't let all the exclamation points and happy words fool you too much. This "growing - a - small - human - in - you" thing is scary stuff! Plus add in hungry and nauseous at the same time, moody and exhasuted all the time and sprinkle in some aches and pains and I am not making a very pretty picture these days. Which brings us full circle does it not? You know, to the part where everyone needs to say a lot of prayers for Patrick? Maybe a weekly scheduled candlelight vigil or something where we have some mass praying all at one time might be a good idea. I mean, I cried over bagles on Sunday for crying out loud! And I nearly took his head off for not stopping to get me a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit instead of just telling me we would get something from the cafeteria when we got to work - well his head and the stupid lady in front of us that would NOT turn so we could get to the parking lot and I could go get my food! They should make warning lights for pregnant women - like big flashing neon signs for each "warning" - "pregnant woman hungry - get out of the way!" or "hormonely emotional pregnant woman could erupt momentarily - be prepared for tears or venom!" or "exhausted pregnant woman - if you see this woman propped up against a wall or door jam sleeping while standing, cautiously approach to waker her up!" I bet I could make a killing off of those things!
So there is our news (and the sublte request for help with Patrick's sanity) and our praise at the same time. We will certainly keep everyone updated - whether you want to know or not! you know how I am! - and truly welcome any prayers you can throw our way. Till next time... God Bless!
