Whatcha Doin?

Said in my best Isabella impersonation from Phineas and Ferb....those of you who know what I am talking about are either parents or like Patrick, secretly (or not so secretly) enjoy watching kids shows even though you don't have kids.

We don't have that "problem" in our house....not having kids I mean of course.  You know, because right now we have three with one on the way.  There is no shortage of kids in our home these days.  It's actually the reason this blog has been so neglected actually.  That and growing a baby takes pretty much every ounce of energy I have and turns it in to mush!  So between kids and pregnancy and working and trying to make sure said kids have food and clean clothes (though, if I am being honest, Patrick takes care of that by himself these days) I haven't been doing much of anything.  I pretty much feel like a bump on a log these days.  We are at 8 1/2 more weeks before my due date so I am avidly counting down the days while at the same time praying that Madelyn doesn't come early so she can be as healthy as possible - and so I can have a little more time to pack that silly hospital bag!  :)

So some other quick updates:

Gabriel turned 5 - YES!  I said F-I-V-E!!  Where has the time gone?  My baby boy is getting so big and becoming such an amazing little boy every day.  He will start kindergarten in September (something I am pretty sure I am not really ready for).  I tell him all the time that he has to stop growing and he looks at me and says "mom, can I just grow up a little bit?" and puts his two fingers together to show a little bit.  I tell him he can grow a "little bit" but no more!  :)  He is such a big helper and while he is definitely the fulfillment of my curse (the one your mom gives you when you are younger 'one day I hope you have one just like you!') he is such a great kid!  Funny how you don't have to share any common DNA for "the curse" to hold true!

Alex is....Alex.  It has been so fun to see his personality develop.  When we first got him at 9 months the thought that he would be a goofy, shy and outgoing at the same time, mess pot was the furthest from our minds.  To see him develop into this person is not only entertaining, but exciting - though I will admit that his 3's are way more challenging than his 2's have ever been.  We tried soccer class for both boys this last month.  While Gabriel excelled (the kid is a natural at all things sports!) Alex preferred to run around the gym until the instructor got there and then hang out with me and Patrick and Miss P on the sidelines.  I did get some "action" shots, but most of those are within the first 5 minutes of class.   He does love to play with Gabe and so we are going to keep trying different things with both of them to see if we can find that one thing that will break him out of his shell - of course, those that have had the pleasure of seeing Alex sans shell know that once that shell is broken, there is no putting it back together!  So we may crack it first and then let it come apart in small pieces - just to give the rest of the world time to acclimate.  :)

Miss P is just doing what any 3 month old does - eat, sleep, laugh at us being silly and making goofy faces, stare at any ceiling fan and become instantly mesmerized, etc.  I can't say much more about her as her being a foster placement still we have to protect her privacy more than even our own.  We have hit some challenges recently with the fostering thing.  When you have had a break between kiddos you tend to forget some of the more frustrating parts of being a foster parent.  You tend to focus on the good things only and so when you get that call for a placement you go in to it again with renewed hope that this time will be different!  And while each case is truly different, what stays the same is generally those things that were challenges all the other times.  Between visits to our home from everyone involved in the case to doctor's appointments and WIC appointments and paperwork and the blasted waiting with no inforrmation, it is not easy to be a foster parent sometimes.  Especially when it is a situation like our current one now.  Being pregnant doesn't help me to handle the emotional ups and downs any easier.  So basically I am a mess pretty much all the time.  Not because anything has happened, just because it is not easy.  And then I hold Miss P and love on her or see her grin the moment she sees me walk in the door or hear her giggle at Patrick's goofy noises or the boys' bieng silly and eveyrthing is ok - it's worth it.  Even if we don't get to keep her forever, it is worth it. 

So many of our close friends and family are dealing with so many other challenges and hardships these days.  It makes my pregnancy discomfort and frustration over "the system" seem so petty and selfish.  What we have to deal with is nothing in comparison by any means.  And while it consumes me so that I am walking around with blinders on, I have to remind myself that even my insignificant complaints are heard and God is watching over us.  So we continue to focus ourselves on taking this one day at a time - one foot in front of the other - checking in with God to make sure we are still on HIS path - and praying when we stray.  As my director said recently "I know God will not give me more than I can handle, sometimes I just wish he didn't trust me so much!"  :)  That which does not kills us, does literally make us stronger.  And it's all in how we roll with it.  So, we will try not to make it so long between now and the next update...till then God bless!