National Adoption Day 2010

We were so blessed to be asked to attend National Adoption Day this year with our dear friend, Elizabeth.  She adopted her little one, Makayla - the happy ending to a very long and tedious journey and beginning of something wonderful and amazing for them both.  I am so pleased we were able to attend and even more pleased that it all worked out to be such a special day for them both.  It was a true honor to be a witness to this adoption - two years in the making!  And to be able to participate in NAD two years in a row - both as adoptors and witnesses - is a true blessing.  It reminds us of how God works in our lives to give us every blessing possible - even when we don't know or realize that is what He is doing.  Here are a few pictures and from that special Day (11/20/10) just one day before our 1 year adoption anniversary!

Hee Hee - I'm gonna get in trouble for that last one, but it is just too funny to not include.  Totally worth the punishment!  Happy Birthday week love!  :)

It is such a wonderful event - not just for those adopting, but for those attending as well.  I am so glad we got to go this year.  Who knows what next year might bring - maybe we get to go again!  :) 

HomeGoods/Shameless Post

Hi All - In checking out one of my favorite blogs: Dollar Store Crafts I saw they are hosting a giveaway for a gift card to HomeGoods.  I have never been there but I have noticed some of the other blogs I follow are frequent shoppers.  I thought I would try it out if I win the gift card....might as well right?  :)

If you are interested in entering, check out this post.

I'll let you know if I win!  :)

In th mean time, I have lots of projects to post about.  I even took pictures last night so I will get them up shortly!

More News!

Well, about 10:15 or so this morning we got some news from our FAD worker about the mediation today.  She told us it was the shortest mediation she has ever heard of - only an hour.  She is guessing that means that the parents went ahead and signed over their rights.  We won't know any of that until we are picked (I say that like it is a for sure thing!).  If we are not picked, then again, it is not really any of our business so we don't get to know anything.

The other bit of news she told us is apparently they have narrowed it all down to two families - ours and one other family "new to the program".  I am not sure what that means other than we are still in the running!  Our Fad worker told us this weekend that she is pretty convinced we are at the top of the list because of all the questions they have been asking us.  So I guess if it is down to us and one other family, that is pretty much as close to the top of the list as one can get in these cases!

Our FAD worker suggested that we work on putting together a photo book of our family and our home.  This is something she can take with her when she goes to the selection staffing meeting.  It is a way that the workers and those involved in the case can get to know us a bit better - including seeing our house, car, living arrangements for the baby, etc - without having to come out to our home before the meeting.  I don't even know if this is something that is done typically or if this is an idea she has in order to help us stand out a bit more or not.  All I know is if there is any way it might give us some kind of advantage, then I am doing it!  :)  My mom is coming over tomorrow to get to work on it!  I printed some pictures off tonight and am hoping that between my mom (and hopefully Patrick's incredibly talented sisters and mom and maybe even aunts too!) we can make a relatively presentable book that "sells" us the best we can!  We are going to approach it more from a scrapbook kind of manner rather than a printed photo book just because we don't really have time to do the printed photo book.  And I am hoping the home made aspect will show our dedication, committment and even excitement about this little one even more.  :)

Our FAD worker told us they were trying to get the selection committee together before Thanksgiving, but the schedules are not lining up for all the people involved.  So they have the meeting scheduled for December 8th at this time.  That means that we will for sure know something on December 8th.....the rest of the next couple of weeks will likely be rather quiet.  I don't know any more about court dates or anything like that, so we are just going to enjoy our Holidays and keep praying that God's will be done!

As I told my FAD worker today, I know this is not a final decision, but just to be narrowed down to one of two families is incredible and I can just feel God's hand in this.  I know that He will do what is best for this little one and that is all we can ask for - even if that is not us.  He has some grand plans in store for us and if this is not it, then I can't even begin to imagine what it is!  :)  God Bless!

Mediation Day

Today is mediation day for the litte one’s case that we submitted our home study for 4 weeks ago. I don’t know when they will be doing the mediation or when we will hear anything about the results of the mediation. I just know it is supposed to happen today.


Our FAD worker has told us that she believes this mediation is for the case worker and ad litem, etc. to try and convince the birth mother (parents? I am not sure if there is a father involved or not) to voluntarily relinquish her (their) parental rights. If she chooses to do that, then it will not have to be decided via a court trial. The case will still have to go to court in December to “accept” the relinquishment, but it would not be a termination. The best way I can define the difference is a termination of parental rights by the judge (or jury if they went that way) is kind of the same as being fired from a job. Whereas a voluntary relinquishment is kind of the same thing as quitting. The record kind of follows you around when you are fired per se.

I don’t know if the other four (YES FOUR!) children she has lost were terminated or relinquished – so that may have an effect on her decision this morning. If she has a “clean record” of no terminations, she may be more willing to relinquish. If not, she may not. Or it may be that she just simply does not care either way.

The other thing is this mediation could be for something completely different or could be for a whole host of other things. As we are not this little one’s foster family (yet!) or her adoption placement family (yet!) it is really none of our business. I am hopeful that we will at least have some information of the results of this mediation just as a way to help us with our decision to keep moving forward (but really, that decision is already made. There isn’t a whole lot they could tell us that would make us change our minds now!).
Anyways, that is where we are today. As I don’t know when they are meeting, I would ask that you keep those prayers going all day today. Please pray for God’s will to be done in this case. Please pray that He speaks to this litte one’s mother (and father) to do the right thing for her. Please pray that the workers involved in the case can speak with compassion, wisdom and strength to help bring about the best outcome for her. Please pray that His hand be in these proceedings today and that no matter what happens – no matter how it may or may not affect Patrick and I and our family – His will be done so that what is absolutely best for this litte one is what happens. We simply couldn’t ask for anything more in this situation than that!
As soon as I hear anything I will certainly let you know!  God Bless!

Breathe....

We just got another update about the little one we submitted our home study for three and a half weeks ago.  We are still being considered (the good news!) and they asked us about how we would handle a child who showed signs of mental health concerns (bi-polar, schizophrenia, etc) in the future.  Of course we said we would seek out the professional resources needed to treat that child but that we would also rely our support system to help us care for a child with those needs - just like we do with the boys who don't have any severe medical or mental needs.

I don't think they asked that question to imply that this little one has any of those conditions or that they anticipate that she will.  I think they asked it because they are still trying to "weed out" the families that are not right for this little one.  I am guessing they still have plenty to choose from and need some more digging to narrow it down.  It could also be that they were trying to see if we are the kind that would try and give her back if something "less than ideal" surfaced later on.  REALLY?  I may get some serious heat for this comment, but what kind of person would really do something like that?  How could you possibly have a child that you have loved and cared for who suddenly starts showing signs of something more serious than anything else before and then turn them away?    Ok, that was my soap box for tonight.  :)  It could also be that they are trying to make sure that they have covered all the bases, dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's so there is no way anyone can come back and try to overturn anything on the technicality of having not asked all the right questions.  This is all conjecture at this point...

We were also told that they will be holding the selection meeting the week of November 29th.  That means that at some point that week they will meet with all of the case workers, FAD workers, CASA worker, lawyers, foster parents, etc. involved in the case and representing the families that have submitted home studies and hash out which family is the best choice for this little one.  We could use some MAJOR prayers that week for sure.  But also throughout the next couple of weeks as things are read and re-read and interpreted and mediated and discussed and everything else about this case.  Our prayer continues to be for what is best for this little one and we pray for the wisdom and peace for the workers making decisions on this case to be able to make the best decision for her.  Even if that means she won't come to us.

On another note, we recently found out some news that is both heartbreaking and possibly joyous at the same time.  No - I am not pregnant.  No - someone did not just randomly drop a baby at our doorstep and No we did not win the lottery.  And finally, No, I can't really go in to it via this publicly accessed blog.  Just suffice it to say that someone very close to the boys could use some major prayers right now for safety, strength, peace and the wisdom to make the right decisions.  Those decisions could easily affect her life as well as another's.  Please pray for God's will in this situation and that we can all have strength and peace to follow His path for us all.

God bless!

Car seat blanket

In an effort to keep myself somewhat sane and because I have literally a million things to get done before Christmas, I have been doing some projects - pretty much every free chance I get!  I haven't been able to post about many of them as they are Christmas presents and I don't want to lose the element of surprise (or risk someone seeing it and thinking "I hope that's not for me!"  :0 ).  But this one is all for me and is not a Christmas present (though I am hoping the person who will use this is an early Christmas present for us!).

I decided that since it is getting colder and we just might have a "baby car seat" sized little one in our home soon that this was the perfect time to tackle this project.  I also know I have friends who are pregnant with delivery dates around the corner and I thought I could work out the kinks  by making a practice run for myself.  So I followed the pattern from Toad's Treasures for the Car Seat and Stroller blanket.  Here is how mine turned out.

You like my Pooh Bear baby model?  :)

I used a fleece blanket that I already had on hand and a sheet I bought for a bed we no longer have any more - it is brand new - never been used even.  So I thought it was worth the try to see if I could make it work.  I am pleased with it.  I guess we shall see if we need it soon enough!  :)

God Bless!

Maybe it wasn't gas after all...

So maybe my gut feeling wasn't just gas after all.  I had said that today was going to be my personal cut off date.  If we didn't hear anything about the little one we submitted our home study for then I was going to assume that we didn't get picked. After all, today would have been a full week since we had last heard anything.  I left work today at 12:30 because my super awesome boss took me to lunch and then we spent the afternoon celebrating National Medical Staff Services week (I am a medical staff coordinator at the hospital I work at.).  So I left work with the thought that if we were to have heard anything, it would have already come and I was going to assume that we hadn't been picked.

I went about my fabulous lunch and absolutely wonderful afternoon with my boss.  I really had not even been thinking about having not heard anything.  I had heard this song on the way in to work this morning and decided that God was speaking to me - that this one may not work out and if it didn't then that was ok.  These are the lyrics:

Josh Wilson – Before the Morning

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Chorus:
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning
yeah, yeah,
before the morning,
yeah, yeah

Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
memory, memory, yeah

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

com'n, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
just the dark before the morning
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning


Ok- how can you hear this song and not think "OK God, I'm listening.  Ok God, I will let you have it."????  So that is what I did this morning.  I let Him have it.  I really actually did!  Are you proud of me????  I really did it this time!  I went about my day with such a light heart and in such a glorious mood, that I decided that even if we didn't hear anything today I was going to be ok.   It was so wonderful!  


Then I got home from my wonderful afternoon and being that I simply had to just check to be absolutely sure, I logged in to check my work email.  There was an email in my inbox from our Foster/Adoption (FAD) worker!  She had an update for us!  She had taken it upon herself (without me requesting it I swear!) to email the little girl's worker for an update.  The worker responded a few hours later that they are in the process of putting together a selection meeting and the workers involved in the case have reviewed the submitted home studies.  She said that she would let our FAD worker know when the selection meeting would be so she could attend on our behalf and help them with the decision.  There was no mention of when that meeting would be taking place (she didn't say next week or two weeks or Monday or anything like that) but I am hoping that if they will let our FAD worker know when it is that she will be able to at least tell us when to expect some kind of decision.  


So that's the latest.  I guess we got our "word" today so it looks like we are still in the running!  Praise you Lord for your blessings!  Praise you Lord for knowing your servant well enough to know that I needed that little bit of a word to keep going.  Praise you Lord for being so amazing and so merciful and so loving that You would even consider us for this opportunity.  Lord, please continue to watch over this little one and speak to the hearts of those working on her case to let them make the right decisions for what is best for this little girl.  Thank you, Lord!

STILL Waiting

Well, as of this last Friday at least, we are still in the running for this 6 month old little one we submitted our home study for almost 2 weeks ago.  I have to be honest that, despite my experiences with CPS typically being anything but time consuming, I am kind of surprised it is taking this long to make a decision about which family they are going to place this little one with.  Of course it may be that as we have not heard anything today that means they have already made their decision and we are no longer being considered.  Or it could be that they are still working on narrowing down the families.  Or it could be that the person who is working this case is on vacation and they aren't doing anything with the case right now.  That's the most frustrating thing about this process I think - the waiting without any communication.  I have to assume we are still in the running at this point because they emailed us on Friday wanting more information - our work schedules.  But my response back could have easily taken us out.  We both work M-F full days.  So they may be looking for a family with at least one stay at home parent.  I did make sure I mentioned that while we work our 40 hours, we are well connected within the Baylor system to facilities, caregivers and resources to care for a little one with the needs this little one has.  So working not only has brought us to those resources, but they are close - there is a Baylor clinic right down the street from my office that cares for children with special needs that is also a day care.   They have on site services just exactly for the kinds of things this little one needs!  Don't think I didn't mention that (in about three paragraphs) to make sure they drew the correct conclusion that while we may work, doesn't mean we don't have the time and resources necessary to care for this little one. 

I am not sure why I am fighting so hard for her other than I have this feeling she is ours.  The intensity and strength of that feeling tends to waiver and so like I told my boss recently, that gut feeling could just be gas and not God after all.  But I am having a hard time letting this one go.  As I think I have mentioned before, I am already in love with this little girl and while it is so tempting to pray for what I want, I continue to pray for God's will in this little girl's life.  That is why I hope (and pray) that my gut feeling is not just me "willing" it to be but me listening to God.  I truly want to be listening to His plan for us and to what He is trying to tell me.  So I will keep trying to focus on that when the waiting and my lack of patience get the better of me.  In the mean time I will set my "cut off" as this Friday.  If we don't hear anything more before this Friday then I will assume that we have not been chosen.  That will be 2 1/2 weeks since we submitted our home study.  And at the rate they have been contacting us, it would be well beyond the schedule for us to not hear anything else.

On a side note, I know that they need to take as much time as they possibly can to be as thorough as they possibly can to make sure that they place this little one with just the right family.  I also know I am complaining and bellyaching and that doesn't change the fact that while it is uncomfortable, I would really want them to do what they could to make sure they place this little one in the right place.  Sometimes it is easier for me to deal if I can vent.  So that is what I will likely be doing over the next couple of days.  Feel free to come back in a week or so to avoid all the venting!  :)  Much Love and God Bless!

Still In the Running

Just got an email from our FAD worker.  She was following up on a question from the case worker for the little one we recently submitted our home study for.  They wanted to know if we would be open to an open adoption.  Basically that means would we be willing to allow cards/letters and pictures to be mailed back and forth (from the birth family to us and vice versa) all the way to would we be willing to meet face to face with them so they could see the child for a period of time.  We already have a PO box for the boys' birth family to keep in touch with them so that is not even a problem.  However we don't do face to face visits with them.   I am not sure how comfortable we are with face to face visits in this case either, but we would certainly be open to talking about it.  My main concern with face to face visits is the affect it would have on the child.  If they are safe and the family members are not causing harm in any way (these visits would be supervised of course!) then as long as it is not causing any emotional trauma for the little one, we would be open to occassional visits.  But not something like every month or anything like that.  Maybe like Christmas and Birthday or something like that.  But that may not even be something the birth family wants - it may be that cards/letters and pictures is enough for them.

That being said, it is really just a matter of discussion at this point.  Legally, we are not required to maintain any contact with the birth family if the parental rights are terminated.  However, if we go to mediation (if this little one is placed with us) and that is a "bargaining chip" to get them to surrender their rights rather than have to go to trial, that is something we would consider.  We are firm believers that our adopted children should have the option to maintain contact with thier birth families if they want to - as long as it is safe for them.  If they don't want contact then we will support them in that.  But I can't think about denying our children the right to know their birth families because it makes me a little uncomfortable (don't get me wrong - I am not all that for it when my son tells me he misses his "real parents".  He's 4 and he doesn't understand that relationship - the word parents to him means birth parents.  We are his Mommy and Daddy, not parents.  But that doesn't mean that I like to hear him say it.  I usually have to stop myself for a second before I can respond to that one!). 

So that is the latest.  Our willingness to do an open adoption does not mean that we will get picked.  At this point they are just seeking additional information about us and the other willing families.  The responses may help them to narrow the pool a little bit, but it may not.  All in all, it is still very much in God's hands.  And despite the fact that I have been getting some interesting "messages" lately it could still go either way (our fortune cookie messages from the other day - "be preapred to recieve something special" and "your decisions are good ones. trust yourself" - the book I am reading is a fiction based on christian principals.  The message in the book right now is about following your destiny or calling in God and trusting that He will see you through and believing in Him, not just saying you do, but really believing. - the message at church on Sunday was basically the same thing as the one in the book recently.).  So again, I pray for God's will in this situation and that this little one is placed in the home that is best suited to care and love her.  I do really hope that is what will happen for her and if we don't get picked I have to believe that is what happened.  So I am sure it will be another week or so before we hear anything else.  Till then, God Bless!