Some people just get it. Some people you meet along this journey called life just really get you - get your passions, your fears, your humor (that last one is a little harder for me - I think I am WAY funnier than I really am!) and they just understand you. It is a rarety really. As a foster/adoptive parent, it is sometimes even more rare to find those people who really understand what parenting a child you did not birth is really about. Even if that parenting time is only for a few short days, weeks, months. They stick with you. I still think about our first little one that we had for 10 whole days. That was over two years ago, but my heart tugs when I look at her pictures on our wall. My heart even tugs when I see pictures or think about our last little one - the one that we struggled with so much. I knew she was not a forever child for us - I didn't even want her to be a forever child for us - but I hope and pray that she is happy and healthy and well cared for. I even kinda miss her a little - as strange as it seems.
These children have become a part of us no matter how long we had them or even how difficult that time period was. They came in to our lives for a reason and we simply can't deny the lasting and permanent affect their time with us has on us as individuals and as a family. It is trully not about DNA and I don't think, for me at least, that it has ever been about DNA. I share this not as another random Kellie rambling, but as comment to this post I read today. This is one of my absolute favorite blogs http://www.momtriedit.net/. She is simply amazing with all of her crafts, advice, reviews and even life experiences that she shares with the blogging community. I hungrily devour her blog daily and can't hardly wait for each new post - I know, I am a little obsessed! She and her family have recently entered in to the foster/adoption world and she made a post on her blog today that really spoke to me - something I have thought in my brain all the time. I share it because I really do believe that until you do something, you can't really know. It's that whole walk a mile in a man's shoes thing that I suck at doing!
http://www.momtriedit.net/2010/10/how-important-is-dna.html
I do attempt to keep a separation there between foster and forever children - for my own sanity and benefit. I try to build a solid wall around my heart so that it can be easier when they leave. And for some to observe me from the outside that may be all you see. But on the inside where I am honest with myself that wall crumbles the moment those kiddos walk in to my life. To me, there is no separation really. To me there is no difference. Not birthing these children doesn't make me love them any less. A child calling me mommy and needing my comfort in the middle of the night and needing my protection from the scary things in their lives - that child can never be anything less than a daughter or son to me - even temporarily.
I know that God puts people where He needs them to be, I know that He prepared me for this role He has me playing now. I know that He gives each of us experiences and lessons and opportunities all to get us to each little milestone in our journey that He has for us. I know that means that not everyone will be able to truly understand and believe in what I do - those people weren't "built" for this journey - it is MY journey unique to me. How can others truly understand when it custom built for me? So it is nice every now and then to find that someone who really gets me or understand me or even understands a brief glimpse of what I am going through, what my family is going through. And so for that, from someone else's perspective, I share this post from this person miles and miles away, going through some very similar things who briefly captures a small part of what being a foster/adoptive parent is really about. God Bless!
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