Playing the Waiting Game

So today is the last day the case worker for this little girl we mentioned a few days ago is accepting home studies for consideration.  We have no way of knowing how many other families have submitted home studies or even how many the case worker has reviewed yet - so we don't know if we are still in the "running" or not. (though the broadcast we received does have the caseworker's name and email on it so if I was feeling "stalkerish" I could contact her - you don't think she would think that was bad and throw our home study out do you?  :)  ).  So for now we play the waiting game.  Based on past experience they will not notify us if we have NOT been chosen.  So we will wait and if we have not heard anything in a certain period of time, we will have to just assume we were not chosen.  That makes this waiting game a bit harder because there is always that thought in the back of my mind that perhaps they just haven't made their decision yet.  But I know that they will make a decision in two weeks max and if we get to that point and have not heard anything we can count on the fact that we were not chosen.  And if I was being really honest with myself, I would say that if we don't hear anything by next Friday, we can assume that we were not chosen.

Not sure if you know this about me, but I don't like waiting.  I have never been a patient person - and NO I don't pray for patience anymore because I don't like those lessons thank you very much! - so this waiting thing eats at me.  It becomes almost impossible for me to function and to focus on anything else (as you will see in the next several posts I am sure!) and I get cranky (Again, I know you are shocked!).  So I am going to continue to try really, really, really, really, super duper hard to put this one in God's hands - and NOT yank it back out every 30 seconds.  That is going to be my challenge for the next week.  And as I think about that, I know it won't just be for the next week. 

You see, this is the way it will be for pretty much every possible placement we consider going forward.  Because we are not doing foster care anymore, we won't get the phone calls with someone saying they need a home that day for a little one.  This is because the little ones that will be presented to us will be available for adoption and that means they have been in someone's foster home for a while now.  That means that an entire "pool" of licensed families will be "vying" for the chance to be considered for each placement.  That means we will do this whole submit and wait game for almost every placement opportunity for as long as we stay on the list.  I say almost because there is always the VERY small chance that a birth parent will turn their child over to CPS and walk away - in which case they would be available for adoption and we might get called.  But that is very small - like microscopically small.  So we will do this every time and every time I will struggle with the waiting and every time I will have to remind myself (daily - no really hourly) to put it back in God's hands.  Wash, rinse, repeat....

So in addition to the other hundreds of prayers we have asked for, I would ask that you throw one more in the mix for us (I say us because I am impossible to live with when I get a "tizzy" like this!).  Please pray that I relinquish control in to God's VERY capable hands and that I can find peace with this process - not just this time, but every time.  (as I write this I am feeling a little better, but my hand is still in that half raised position poised and ready to snatch the control back at any moment!  I am SOOO bad about that!).

'Til next time, may God bless!